I was working on my book, “7 Things You Should Know,” awhile back. I had been suffering with writer’s block, somewhere between the first draft edit and wherever it is I imagined a “real writer” would begin. I wasn’t happy with the first draft, and I kept thinking, “This stuff is so talked-to-death. Who wants to hear this? I’m not good enough to do this. Will some kind of magical inspiration ever hit and give me something worth saying?” The self-recrimination was so deafening that I thought I might scrap the entire project. I had, however, already made a commitment to finish the book, and the book was driving my blogs and my seminar work, which people seemed to appreciate. I felt like I had to finish what I had started, but I was suffering. So, I did what I always do when I’m stuck and feeling less than joyful. I complained to a friend.
“The book is dull,” I said. “And redundant. And I don’t know what to do about it.” My friend told me to make an outline for the book. An outline! I was insulted. “I know about outlines,” I thought. “I can write an outline. Everyone knows I need an outline. That’s stupid. Why are you giving me this simple advice? What makes you think I don’t already have an outline? What do you know about it? I am an adult, not some sixth grader trying to learn to write!” Then I thought, more humbly, “Oh. Yeah. I guess an outline might help. Maybe I’ll try that,” because although I really do know about outlines, how helpful they are, how to write them, the truth is that I hadn’t written one. Not really. And I needed to be reminded of that strategy. Do you know what that taught me? Sometimes reminders of what may seem to be the most basic information are exactly what we need. So, I’ve finished the book. Because even if it is the most basic of information, even if it is just strategies that everyone already knows, maybe someone needs a reminder. Oh, and by the way, if you have any thoughts on the subject, please send me, from time to time, some reminders of the things you do to keep yourself feeling joyful. You never know what I might have forgotten. Living In Joy Challenge: Try to keep things simple for the week. Ask simple questions, listen for simple answers. Refer to simple strategies and basic information. Not everything has to be a long, drawn-out discussion. Not everything has to be a debate. Appreciate the basics…eating fresh fruits and vegetables, walking after dinner, choosing water instead of soda, for example. And by all means, if someone offers you the simplest of advice, take it, even if, no… especially if it sounds too simple to really work. I’d love to hear if it makes a difference for you.
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Please allow me to work through something, here…
One might think, as “Living in Joy” is my mantra and my focus, that I never feel anything but delight at all times. Not true. In fact, today, I am feeling quite plain. Nothing is really wrong, but nothing feels particularly right, either. I have no complaints, per se, though I suppose I could drum some up, if I were so inclined. I am not so inclined, mostly because I know that finding fault and acknowledging random complaints is a slippery practice. It’s very easy to slide into a habit of identifying only problems, or blaming others, or deciding that there is something very wrong with me or my life, in general. Still, I do have a habit of taking inventory during these moments of unexplained indifference. Is my joy still there, under the surface, pulsating like some electrical current to which I am not currently, for whatever reason, connected? Well, of course. I have faith that it is, even though my feelings of lackluster are what are on the surface at the moment. Have I made some choice that is distancing me from my joy? Am I just tired? Or am I (the most fabulous and all-encompassing of female reasons for mood changes) hormonal? Have I not taken the time to renew my spirit, lately? Or am I eating poorly? If any of these ideas felt true, I would set about fixing the problem with a different choice, a nap, a walk in the park... but no. None of these things seem like the right explanation for today’s blasé. Still, I know that feelings are our signposts and catalysts. We feel angry at injustice, which moves us to action. We feel exhausted after too many stressors have not been handled, which prompts us to rest and regroup. We feel sadness at loss, which inspires us to reach out to find and give love. Feelings are our barometer, and if we acknowledge them and the message they bring, we can allow them to move us to remain true to our own intuition, emotions and convictions. What, then, is the message neutral brings? Not sadness, depression, misery, boredom, numbness, or the blues. More like “the tans.” Lukewarm. Just plain. What particular signpost is this? Exactly what action do “the tans” inspire? What is tan? My walls and carpet are tan, and they look good with every color. Sugar cookies are tan, which makes them the perfect canvas for icings and sprinkles. The beach is tan, and it makes it easier to see bright shells or colored glass when it washes to shore. Is that it? Do the tans just make room for the color that is to come? Perhaps this is me clearing the slate in preparation for great things. Hm. Yes! That feels right. I have known for awhile that things were changing in my life. More travel, more seminar work, and a different picture for my full time nursing career are all on the horizon. A day or two of the tans are probably not so much a catalyst for action as they are providing a contrast for what is to come. Ah. That feels better. I can live with that. And I hope the next time you are feeling just plain that you can look ahead and see that you are providing yourself the perfect canvas on which to scatter your next sparkles of color. I’ll be patient if you will, but I can barely wait to see what color is coming! Living in Joy Challenge: Recognize that Living in Joy does not guarantee constant feelings of happiness. In fact, it only provides a foundation for you to have the strength and courage to live through all of your emotions, good, bad, and “tan.” If you have any coping strategies for getting through “the tans,” since they seem to require that we just patiently wait for color to return, please do share! |
ShellyWhether I am experiencing my life as a nurse, leader, teacher, manager, wife, daughter, friend or something else, I believe that my gift has been my ability to sort through the noise of emotions and circumstances and find joy in all things. It is my purpose to use that ability to help others realize their own strengths, successes, gifts and passions. This is how I want to spend my life. Subscribe
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